I'm Innocent. I Swear!

I've again been considering the plight of the chair
and the width of the bottoms that choose to perch there.
Now at my age, considerable, there are really no fears
Of my close examination of various derrieres.
You may think it unseemly that I should give care
To what kind of rear-end should inhabit the chair.
And I'm not being nebby or obtrusive, nor stare.
I just feel education might help some be aware.

Now, I'm speaking of public chairs, office, and such.
Manufacturers of those seats should really keep in touch.
Their furniture should be made especially for all.
Their end-users come in packages short, fat and tall.
( If I'm losing you here. If you're bored just a stitch,
It's quite possible that people like you are the hitch!
You're probably one of those intolerable creatures
Who are sporting normal dimensions and perky little features.
There are rumors of groups so opposed to your ilk.
They are sots and dipsomaniacs. Not fond of fresh milk.)

Oh, my! I digress! I was speaking of seats
And the folks who employ them, coming in from the streets.
My distress is in an office, looking for someplace to sit.
All the wide-butt chairs are taken by some skinny twit!
"Young woman (or man)," I'm close to yelling, I swear!
"Can't you place that thing, kindly, in a narrow-butt chair?
Please observe, there's a difference! One bigger, one small.
Do you have no perception? Do you have none at all?"
But, being so sweet, unobtrusive, and, well, kind,
I lean on a wall while I sulk and unwind. (humph)

AND DECORATORS! Now I ask you.  Who hires those dolts?
I'd like to join fat folks interested in revolts.
But, again, I remind you that I'm just not that way.
So I'll leave that to others while I picket Triple A.
Can't you see how frustrating and unnerving this can be?
Do you understand millions of folk just like me are
Standing tiresomely, holding up walls on our canes,
Plotting secretly how to dispose of remains.
And discretely go about eyeing other people's derriere,
While searching the planet for a wide-bottomed chair.